Ever since I saw the first trailer for “Zombieland”, I have been looking forward to this movie. It did not disappoint me. It starts out quick and never stops. What is there not to like about a movie that features Hostess sno balls, Dale Earnhardt, and “Ghostbusters”. Woody Haerrelson is awesome and there are a lot of ingenious moments. Unfortunately it is easy to give away spoilers and I don’t want to do that. It is hilarious but still gross for those with a weak stomach. After all, it is still a zombie movie. Good writing, great acting and it looked like they had a great time making this movie. People actually applauded after the movie was over. That never happens at the end of a horror movie. 4 Michael Meyers masks!!!!
Sorry I meant to put this review on a while ago but I kept forgetting. I first saw a preview for “The Midnight Meat Train” in the theater and I was really looking forward to seeing it. Unfortunately it ended up opening in a few budget theaters and disappearing. I was really disappointed. It recently came out on DVD and I was finally able to see it. I was pleasantly surprised.
It is bloody,bloody, bloody which I usually don’t like but it is heavy on the creep factor which balances the whole thing out. This includes the super creepy bad guy Vinnie Jones. It is classic Clive Barker with Ancient secret societies and such and I like Bradley Cooper so that is a plus too.
I can see though why they thought it wouldn’t do well in theaters. It has a Japanese director. Americans like to take those awesome Japanese horror movies and brighten them up and water them down. Japanese horror is usually very dark, very cryptic,and heavy on the creep factor. “Midnight Meat Train” is like this and I like it!!
If you are a fan of horror movies than you have probably seen at least one of the “Final Destination” movies. The premise: Group of people escape certain death and death comes back to get them in chronological order. The first one was original and well done. The second and third not so much but fun none the less(that is if you find a pvc pipe through the skull fun. I sure do.)
This installation wins me over immediately by starting off at a nameless, brandless stock car race (racing within a horror movie, I must be in heaven). One innocent oil spill and a flying tool and carnage ensues. Unfortunately it goes downhill from there. The leads are fairly appealing but i was really disappointed in the copycat manners of death stolen from the first three movies. That is just boring and lazy. These 4 movies are however masters of the now you see him now you don’t deaths which is always fun. Watch one to see what I mean. The ending is not a fairy tale one which is always a bonus in a horror movie but all in all this is light fare. 2 Michael Meyers Masks.
Ok so as I have already stated I have been bad about keeping up with the blog. It won’t be too shocking then to find out that I actually saw the horror flick “Mirrors” over a month ago. I guess one of the reasons I was dragging my feet about it was because I really didn’t have anything to say about it. I dont understand how Keifer Sutherland keeps making such bad choices. I have always liked him and he has the ability to be both creepy and likeable. The movie never makes any sense and I think the shortness of the film says alot. They cut it down so badly they dont even really really finish explaining anything.
Ill make it simple. Keifer gets a job as a night watchman at an old abandoned department store where years before there was a terrible fire. He is recently separated from his wife and kids because one year before as a police officer there was a shooting while on duty that caused him to freak out. Soon after he starts working as the night watchman weird things start happening and it is sometimes interesting but never scary. The ending of this movie is so ridiculous and out of nowhere that I’d have to say it is one of the worst horror movies I have ever seen therefore it doesn’t even matter whether I tell you anything else. Sorry Keifer. 1 Michael Meyers mask
I went to see Quarantine by myself yesterday because Jared doesnt like scary movies. He was working so I decided to go. Unfortunately I had to leave halfway through because the entire thing is filmed as if through a handheld. I got very sick from the motion just as I did when I was in the theatre for the Blair Witch Project years ago. I guess I will have to wait til it comes out on DVD to see the rest. Too bad because I was actually enjoying it until I had to run for the bathroom sick to my stomach. It did remind me however that I still have to review a couple of movies which I had not gotten around to before this. They will follow. Sorry it has been so light but I have been incredibly busy and things have been rearranging but I am getting used to my schedule and I have come up with a way to keep things coming on here everyday. Thanks for coming back even when I slack off I really do appreciate it!!
I went to see ”The Strangers” Friday afternoon. I was by myself and immediately I had a problem, I was by myself and I went to sit down and all I could think was that if someone sits right behind me I am getting up and moving. If any of you have seen the movie “He knows you’re alone” then you know why I was thinking about this.
OK now for the movie. The movie starts with Scott Speedman and Liv Tyler riding home in the car. You know by their faces and actions that something is wrong. Turns out he proposed and she turned him down. They get to the house where he has decked it all out with rose petals and the like. There is a very loud knock at the door (keep in mind it is 4am) and a girl is in the dark a bit out of sight asking for Tamara. No Tamara here bye.
What happens next is why the movie is great. You see a very large man with a fabric mask in the shadows inside of the house. He spends about 15 minutes just out of their sight. Very creepy. Then his two masked friends join in and mayhem ensues. The masks are way creepy but there are a couple of things that I really liked about this movie. Very low on gross out gore. There is a gunshot wound but it is done in a way that isn’t stomach turning. And it was just short enough (exactly 90 minutes) to keep you on edge. I really liked this movie because I really didn’t know how it was going to end which doesn’t happen too often in horror movies either.
This brings me to an important point. If you are not much of a horror movie fan you are not going to like the ending of this movie. I thought it was brilliant. Psycho killers are ………………….psychotic hence the ending. My son saw the movie and told me he had to drive home by himself and he was creeped out. He said it was one of the scariest movies he had ever seen. Pretty decent endorsement from an eighteen year old. If you like horror movies that scare you rather than gross you out then definitely check this movie out. I am going to give it four Michael Myer’s masks.
I was really excited when I heard that they were making a remake of “Prom Night”. The original came out in the early 80’s and was just average but I was still curious to see what could be done with it.
A high school student loses her entire family to a crazy stalking teacher. Three years later it is her senior prom and guess who just escaped from the mental hospital/jail. The beginning of the movie, when they are giving you the background, is great. Johnathon Schaech is pretty good as the bad guy. He looks sufficiently evil but I have to be honest, I was incredibly distracted by the lead actress. I couldn’t figure out whether she was one of the Cheetah girls , one of the High School Musical girls or what!! Turns out she is the Hairspray girl, Brittany Snow. My point is that I had time to allow myself to be thinking about things like this. I thought the beginning of the film was really excellent and I liked the fact that it was low on the gore because when I watch a horror movie I want to jump from fear not throw up my dinner. The rest of the movie was just your average teen slasher stuff. I am going to give it 3 out of 5 Michael Myers’ masks for Johnathon Schaech and the first 15 minutes.
I have decided to do horror movie reviews because I love them so much. When you do reviews you have to have some king of scale to go by and I narrowed it down to three things. Rather than stars I figured I will use either jack o lanterns, ghostfaces, or Michael myers’ masks. So after much debate the winner is Michael Myers masks!!! My first one will be posted later.
